What to do, what to do...

Another short post, I have a board meeting to be at in 15 minutes (my life!!).

I got my check last week and wish someone could have taken a snapshot of my face! I've never seen so much money in one place, and on top of that, in my hands and in my name! That definitely made me really realize that I was hopping on a plane to Japan (for like a 14-hour flight, grumble grumble) and would be spending two months there. Still incredible. The more I talk with people about it, the more unbelievable it seems. And it seems like I'm talking to people more about it, randomly.

I work for the Admissions Office and was on the panel for the Yale Club of NYC Admitted Students Reception that we had last week. I was supposed to talk for 10 minutes about my experience at Yale (womp womp, I got nervous and forgot like half of the things I wanted to say and ended it early, lol). My focus when I talked about academics was about how:
a) Yale gives you crazy variety (my FM year schedule included Medical Spanish, Holocaust Writing, Intro to Computer Engineering, Intro to Cog Sci, Chem, and a Japanese Literature FM Seminar) in terms of classes you can take (one prefrosh is convinced I've taken every single course offered by Yale, lol), and
b) Yale gives you money to pursue your wildest academic dreams (JAPANNNN)

So I talked about how I went to Kyoto last year with my freshman seminar, Genji's World, and then decided to take Intro Japanese though I would be taking Orgo at the same time, and then got the Light Fellowship to return, this time to Tokyo for 2 months. Yay, happy ending! I was really excited about this anecdote, too, because I had been talking to the other student panelist (Michael Losak--absolutely wonderful human being) about how we wanted to focus on our cool factor--we basically wanted to emphasize the absolutely crazy and amazing things we had done at Yale that seem fairly normal to us Yalies but out-of-this-world to prefrosh (and other people). I think I did pretty well on the COOL! scale, if I do say so myself lol.

After the panel, maddd people stopped me to tell how jealous/excited/amazed/intrigued they were about my trip to Japan. It was one of those reflective moments: "Huh. Yeah, this is pretty amazing. And incredible. And unbelievable. And REAL. Oh crap."

Which leads me to the title of "what to do, what to do..." Because my life has been a mess the past two weeks (horrific housing drama + Tech and show for Sabrosura + Tech and show for RB) and will continue to be so for at least another week (Bulldog Days planning/running + Tech and Xplosion! competition for RB), buying plane tickets and actually being proactive about things relating to the trip have been pushed to the side momentarily. Especially since I don't know what to do! I want to stay in Japan after the program, and I know that at least I want to return to Kyoto (will always have a special place in my heart for Kyoto...) but how, for how long, with whom, etc.....all up in the air. Argh.

And the thing is, this is slightly stressing me out because I haven't dealt with it. When things scare me, I tend to ignore them, that childish "if I don't see it, maybe it won't see me, maybe it'll go away." Ohhhhhhkay. Just like now, I'm sitting in the Branford buttery with "The Way I Are" in the background (more Japanese memories! haha), writing in this blog, right this second. TOO BAD was written all over my suitemate Liz's face when she was asked me, "Wait, don't you have a Japanese test tomorrow...?" Yes, but I'm doing that hiding-from-it thing again. BAD IDEA, I know. Just like how I should have booked plane tickets days ago, taken out some time to do it. I guess the thought of maybe traveling Japan on my own, armed with only Lonely Planet and a language in which I'm shaky at best is just a little more terrifying than it is exciting.

Here's to hoping for that Japanese hospitality.

Transition into Japan mode!

Heyllooo.

I have 48573845 things to do in the next hour, so I'll make this short.

I am a Richard U. Light Fellow, going to Tokyo, Japan in the summer of 2009!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As most of you know, as part of the fellowship, we have to keep a record of our time abroad, either through blog or through an end-of-semester report. I already had a (admittingly not very well-kept) blog from my summer in Brasil last year, so instead of making a separate Tokyo one, I decided to stay with this one. I love the ability to not only check back my posts from a year ago but also better compare Brasil to Tokyo, as I would do in my head anyway without even trying. Aaaaaand I love the continuity of travel in my Yale career, lol.

The world's ours to explore and make better =]

PS My picture is from my freshman seminar's trip last May to Kyoto. We be representinnn Yale in all zip codes, yo.

Memories-Inspired Musings

Harkness played both Beauty and the Beast AND the Super Mario Theme 20 minutes ago. It was one of those, "What more could I possibly ask for?" moments, haha.

And that, coupled with the fact that I was having a discussion with Liz about Autism (it was a much broader topic, but one of the components was Autism) and therefore came back to look at this sadly forgotten blog, got me thinking.

A few days ago, someone who I had not spoken to in roughly 4 or 5 years facebook messaged me. He used to go to my dojo (karate school), and I think I taught him at one point, too. He's is now a freshman at BU and loves it. He messaged me to ask how I was and how Yale was treating me, which is standard I-haven't-spoken-to-this-person-in-years-so-I-will-ask-general-questions-about-their-life. But then he added something else.

"have an interesting q for you, what do you feel is close to your heart?"

...Ummm, what? Whoa there, that's totally deviating from social norms for what you can or can't ask/say to people after a prolonged silence like that. Notttttt okay. Hmm. He must be being really deep. It would be rude to ignore the question, since he clearly thought it out. So now I must think about it.

I answered him and our conversation has continued accordingly.

"the people that make my life what it is"

I know, I know! You're probably saying *cough*COP-OUT*cough*. But so many other things ran through my head as a possible response to that out-of-the-blue question, and none of them clicked. They seemed contrived, as if I were to be a good girl and reply with "my family". But that's not entirely true for me because I don't have much of one (can I just insert the phrase "decent-sized family" here?? thanks. LOL).

I tried thinking of things. Karate? Yeah, karate! ...Wait...You mean the sport and way of life that was my life until Yale? Where it no longer is my life anymore? That doesn't seem right. That one little spot closest to your heart, surrounded by veins and arteries pumping your blood, your escence of life, has to be filled with something good. I love karate, and I enjoyed doing it for so many years. I met some of the greatest people I ever have met, and made friends all over. I loved every second of it while I was focused on it. And I miss it now, even as I do so much with my life that it prompts others to routinely remark, "Hey Allie, why don't you try getting into this, it'd be rea-...oh wait, like you don't have enough to do already," haha.

So then how do I answer?? Maybe if I close my eyes, something will come to me. I also run the risk of Liz sneaking up on me and reprimanding good-naturedly me for writing in my blog instead of studying for Japanese (I have a Kanji Test tomorrow that will test me on 115 chararcters...o meu deu...), lol. Wait! That's it! Isn't that what I always say: I love our suite, I love RB, I love prefrosh, I love my Junta, I love you??

I love people.

More specifically, I love the people who make my life what it is. Because the people in my life make me think, challenge me, oppose my views, support me, cheer me on, wait for me, pull me up, make me laugh, make me laugh so hard I cry, make me cry, hug me, care about me, care enough to confide in me, love me.

They have shaped this Allie figure into someone who strives to make all these people proud, becoming a better person in many aspects in the process.

And in return, they make me happy =]

So I guess Harkness's renditions of Beauty and the Beast + the Super Mario Theme + someone to tell this to = happyness.