What to do, what to do...

Another short post, I have a board meeting to be at in 15 minutes (my life!!).

I got my check last week and wish someone could have taken a snapshot of my face! I've never seen so much money in one place, and on top of that, in my hands and in my name! That definitely made me really realize that I was hopping on a plane to Japan (for like a 14-hour flight, grumble grumble) and would be spending two months there. Still incredible. The more I talk with people about it, the more unbelievable it seems. And it seems like I'm talking to people more about it, randomly.

I work for the Admissions Office and was on the panel for the Yale Club of NYC Admitted Students Reception that we had last week. I was supposed to talk for 10 minutes about my experience at Yale (womp womp, I got nervous and forgot like half of the things I wanted to say and ended it early, lol). My focus when I talked about academics was about how:
a) Yale gives you crazy variety (my FM year schedule included Medical Spanish, Holocaust Writing, Intro to Computer Engineering, Intro to Cog Sci, Chem, and a Japanese Literature FM Seminar) in terms of classes you can take (one prefrosh is convinced I've taken every single course offered by Yale, lol), and
b) Yale gives you money to pursue your wildest academic dreams (JAPANNNN)

So I talked about how I went to Kyoto last year with my freshman seminar, Genji's World, and then decided to take Intro Japanese though I would be taking Orgo at the same time, and then got the Light Fellowship to return, this time to Tokyo for 2 months. Yay, happy ending! I was really excited about this anecdote, too, because I had been talking to the other student panelist (Michael Losak--absolutely wonderful human being) about how we wanted to focus on our cool factor--we basically wanted to emphasize the absolutely crazy and amazing things we had done at Yale that seem fairly normal to us Yalies but out-of-this-world to prefrosh (and other people). I think I did pretty well on the COOL! scale, if I do say so myself lol.

After the panel, maddd people stopped me to tell how jealous/excited/amazed/intrigued they were about my trip to Japan. It was one of those reflective moments: "Huh. Yeah, this is pretty amazing. And incredible. And unbelievable. And REAL. Oh crap."

Which leads me to the title of "what to do, what to do..." Because my life has been a mess the past two weeks (horrific housing drama + Tech and show for Sabrosura + Tech and show for RB) and will continue to be so for at least another week (Bulldog Days planning/running + Tech and Xplosion! competition for RB), buying plane tickets and actually being proactive about things relating to the trip have been pushed to the side momentarily. Especially since I don't know what to do! I want to stay in Japan after the program, and I know that at least I want to return to Kyoto (will always have a special place in my heart for Kyoto...) but how, for how long, with whom, etc.....all up in the air. Argh.

And the thing is, this is slightly stressing me out because I haven't dealt with it. When things scare me, I tend to ignore them, that childish "if I don't see it, maybe it won't see me, maybe it'll go away." Ohhhhhhkay. Just like now, I'm sitting in the Branford buttery with "The Way I Are" in the background (more Japanese memories! haha), writing in this blog, right this second. TOO BAD was written all over my suitemate Liz's face when she was asked me, "Wait, don't you have a Japanese test tomorrow...?" Yes, but I'm doing that hiding-from-it thing again. BAD IDEA, I know. Just like how I should have booked plane tickets days ago, taken out some time to do it. I guess the thought of maybe traveling Japan on my own, armed with only Lonely Planet and a language in which I'm shaky at best is just a little more terrifying than it is exciting.

Here's to hoping for that Japanese hospitality.